It's Kind of a Funny Story

I have three favorite things in the entire world. The first is food, you can never have enough food; the second is writing, and the third is reading. When it comes to talking and speaking out loud, I'm a mess. My brain and jaw don't align quiet right. However, if you hand me a pen and paper and tell me to write a poem or short story, I'll hop right on it. Now, when it comes to reading, I of course have a favorite book, which inspired me to write as most books do. I wrote this for a project about a year ago shortly after reading It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini.

It's really kind of a funny story
You see, I was walking along the bridge
The big red shiny one in the city and everything felt so right.
The cold Frisco breeze closing in around my face
Nipping at my finger tips, combing through my hair
And I wanted more of it.
I needed more of it,
My insides were on fire and nothing but the breeze could tame the flames.
My chest burned, something inside beat fast, too fast.
My body couldn’t handle it and
Before I knew it, my heart stopped feeling love all together.
Soon the heat traveled up.
I could feel it knotting in my throat and I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t scream.
And then a wet flame dribbled from my eye, down my cheek,
My body was too numb to react to either.
And then, the raging inferno turned to my mind, consuming every second thought I ever had.
I could hear nothing but it crackle as it burned away everything.
Leave them behind, he doesn’t love you, you are nothing.
And just like that, I couldn’t control my own body.
I found myself climbing up the rail, this is crazy!
What am I doing?
I took a deep breath; spread my arms like some sort of bird
And look down at the water.
That would definitely put out the flames.
I lean forward, close my eyes, take one last sigh, and jump.
And I swear to you, it was like I was flying
And the flames weren’t bad anymore, as if they became apart of me,
like I was some sort of magnificent phoenix flying, soaring back home.
And then I opened my eyes a mere five feet away from the water
And a wave of regret hit me.
Four feet.
What would they say at school on Monday?
Three feet.
Did you guys hear about jasmine?
Two feet.
I heard she tried to kill herself.
One foot.
But she always seemed so happy.
And I closed my eyes, waiting afraid of what would happen next.
There was no pain, no fire or flame burning inside me.
A familiar flutter beat in my chest, loved flowed inside me once again.
I realized that I was in the ocean, and I was cold, freezing.
But then that warmth hits me again.
Not that same warmth from before, not the one eating me alive,
But one from before, when I was happier, it was happening, I was shifting.
I finally felt free.
Yet, there was one thing I was holding inside,
One more thing I needed to say.
I have always, will always love you,
And I’m sorry.