Every night I lay in bed in total darkness. I let my ears take in the silence playing throughout my house and I close my eyes. I should feel at peace. I should feel weightless. I should feel nothing.
I should feel at peace, but inside of me a war wages on. My soul on one side and my world on another. They clash in battle, but my world has the upperhand. In his arsenal, he brings with him the deadliest weapons. Envy, Hate, Greed, and Jealousy are all ready for fire with just one word. My soul has no protection from this, just one weapon, Hope. However, Hope does not come with an unlimited supply.
I should feel weightless, but there is a heaviness in my chest. It's not like the other times I've felt something pushing down on me though. As I sit in the dark, it is as if my room is closing in on me. The walls become animated and as they breathe, they slide closer and closer until they are sufficating me with my own thoughts. In some sort of grotesque and twisted dance, my chest is being squeezed and my lungs are being crushed. I try to roll around and break free of their pressures, but no matter how hard I concentrate, I cannot.
I should feel nothing, but every night a wave of emotion hits me. It's power is too much to handle. Soon, that typhoon takes over and streams begin to fall from my face. I feed the sensation and row along rough waves and falls trying to reach land, but I cannot. As the night proceeds, the water becomes filled with salted pollution from my tears and my world becomes flooded with emotion. By the time the morning sun is up, I will drown.
Every night I lay in bed in total darkness. I let my ears take in the silence playing through my house and I close my eyes. I feel at war. I feel heavy. I feel emotion. I feel alone.
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